Once again the Internet’s down round here. Fortunately, this time it dropped soon after I’d been doing a whole lot of emailing and the like.
When you ring the TelstraClear Helpdesk (at 0508 888 800), you first have to wait for a recorded message about some service or other I’m not interested in, and then you have to speak your choices from various options.
Here, for reference, is what you need to shortcut through and get on to either the recorded message telling you the Internet’s down or into the queue to speak to a technician:
- report a fault
- internet
- Clear (or Paradise, if they are your ISP)
- speak to a technician.
Cue middle-of-the-road saxophone music loop.





i’ve heard that if you also just shout FUCK a lot and say “i want to speak to a PERSON” .. .then you get through to the real people much faster.
actually saying anything that isn’t on their list works but f*ck may have benefits for your blood pressure. And yeah 25 minute waits are drag. At least for me there was a good outcome in that in trying to resolve my problem (we failed) we identified that they had not implemented the doubling of speed and the helpful guy did it while I waited. Wonder how many others are missing out without realising it.
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